Tag Archives: fail

The Worst Cookies I’ve Ever Made


WARNING: This post contains recipes. Use it at your own risk. Look at the title, people.

My friend Beth is doing what I’d call a modified version of the Whole 30 food plan. Modified in the sense that she is sticking to the Whole 30 foods but not exactly the Whole 30 mind set. So I asked her if I made a Whole 30 ‘friendly’ dessert would she eat it, & she said yes. I have made Paleo/Vegan cookies before with my best friend Frank & they turned out great. So what could go wrong?

I went to the store and bought some coconut flour. Why coconut? Because it was cheaper than almond flour. Then I went home to look up coconut flour cookie recipes that didn’t ask for butter. I came across a couple of recipes that called for coconut flour, cocoa powder, olive oil, & honey. Wanting to take out the honey, I figured I’d use a fruity reduction for the sweetness. I made some cookies with the cocoa powder & some without.


This picture LIES. These recipes are NOT to be used on friends.

Chocolate “Cookies”

1/4 cup coconut flour
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
3 tbsp fruity reduction
3 large eggs
1/2 tbsp olive
1 tsp vanilla extract

The dough for this was so bitter, that I added about 4 tbsp of brown sugar to get it to taste like super dark chocolate. Sugar is not Whole 30 or Paleo friendly, but at this point I was trying to salvage the brown mush I had made. I should have known…

Non-Chocolate “Cookies”

1/3 cup coconut flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
4 tbsp fruity reduction
3 large eggs
1/2 tbsp olive
1 tsp vanilla extract

The dough for these tasted promising. Not sweet like a regular cookie, but maybe like a biscuit that would be good with some milk or tea…

Somewhere in the baking process everything went to hell.


Trying to be polite by saying they’re not that bad.


Smiling through the pain.

My poor husband could not hide his disgust.

My poor husband could not hide his disgust.


My disappointed face after I tried them for myself.

Man were these things gross! They were both equally horrendous. It wasn’t just a sugar problem; they were a horrifying consistency. I have since read that coconut flour is super absorbent & not the easiest to work with. What am I supposed to do with the rest of the bag I bought???

I felt so bad for serving these to people I love! The only way I could ever see using this type of recipe gain would be on April Fool’s Day. Or to send a care package to someone I hate.

I promptly threw them out & made some REGULAR peanut butter cookies. Sorry, Beth, but after this atrocity we needed some butter, milk, & sugar!

2015-02-11 12.05.23

Not everything can be a win. These cookies were an epic FAIL.