The Worst Cookies I’ve Ever Made

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WARNING: This post contains recipes. Use it at your own risk. Look at the title, people.

My friend Beth is doing what I’d call a modified version of the Whole 30 food plan. Modified in the sense that she is sticking to the Whole 30 foods but not exactly the Whole 30 mind set. So I asked her if I made a Whole 30 ‘friendly’ dessert would she eat it, & she said yes. I have made Paleo/Vegan cookies before with my best friend Frank & they turned out great. So what could go wrong?

I went to the store and bought some coconut flour. Why coconut? Because it was cheaper than almond flour. Then I went home to look up coconut flour cookie recipes that didn’t ask for butter. I came across a couple of recipes that called for coconut flour, cocoa powder, olive oil, & honey. Wanting to take out the honey, I figured I’d use a fruity reduction for the sweetness. I made some cookies with the cocoa powder & some without.

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This picture LIES. These recipes are NOT to be used on friends.

Chocolate “Cookies”

1/4 cup coconut flour
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
3 tbsp fruity reduction
3 large eggs
1/2 tbsp olive
1 tsp vanilla extract

The dough for this was so bitter, that I added about 4 tbsp of brown sugar to get it to taste like super dark chocolate. Sugar is not Whole 30 or Paleo friendly, but at this point I was trying to salvage the brown mush I had made. I should have known…

Non-Chocolate “Cookies”

1/3 cup coconut flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
4 tbsp fruity reduction
3 large eggs
1/2 tbsp olive
1 tsp vanilla extract

The dough for these tasted promising. Not sweet like a regular cookie, but maybe like a biscuit that would be good with some milk or tea…


Somewhere in the baking process everything went to hell.

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Trying to be polite by saying they’re not that bad.

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Smiling through the pain.

My poor husband could not hide his disgust.

My poor husband could not hide his disgust.

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My disappointed face after I tried them for myself.

Man were these things gross! They were both equally horrendous. It wasn’t just a sugar problem; they were a horrifying consistency. I have since read that coconut flour is super absorbent & not the easiest to work with. What am I supposed to do with the rest of the bag I bought???

I felt so bad for serving these to people I love! The only way I could ever see using this type of recipe gain would be on April Fool’s Day. Or to send a care package to someone I hate.

I promptly threw them out & made some REGULAR peanut butter cookies. Sorry, Beth, but after this atrocity we needed some butter, milk, & sugar!

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Not everything can be a win. These cookies were an epic FAIL.

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2 thoughts on “The Worst Cookies I’ve Ever Made

  1. Dana Fashina February 11, 2015 at 4:42 PM Reply

    Hahaha!!
    Not every fail is a bad thing.
    Every now and again, sh*t just needs to be thrown out.
    😀

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Episode 3: You don’t know me! | April 2, 2015 at 12:45 AM Reply

    […] Side note- don’t eat desserts on Whole30. Beth’s friend Gina was being sweet and tried to make something Whole30 compliant. It didn’t turn out. […]

    Like

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